


Meanwhile, April.

by Werepirechick



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Gen, Missing Scene, Multiple scenes, Team as Family, basically just oneshots from april's perspective following the episodes where she's not around, chapters will be tagged with their individual warnings and contents, she's their big sis k, we need more april from canon and i'm fixing that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2019-07-15 10:14:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16061003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Werepirechick/pseuds/Werepirechick
Summary: Even if she's not there for the party, April usually shows up for the aftermath.(AKA we needed more of April & the brothers and their shenanigans together.)





	1. Down With The Sickness

**Author's Note:**

> heyo, i love rottmnt with my entire being, but we need way more april content from canon. so thusly, i seek to fix that with some fic.
> 
> each chapter will be titled as the episode its pertaining to, such as this one is for Down With The Sickness. obvs a sickfic a little bit, but not in the conventional sense of that trope. general warnings for mentions of gross body fluids and brief violence without injury, as well as some fun hurt/comfort towards the end. (also don't @ me about how the texting works out, i'm trying my best here)
> 
> enjoy some neon leon and yellow submarine interactions!

It’s not like they don’t all have their own things to do, but April stares curiously at her phone on a late Saturday afternoon and wonders why she hasn’t gotten any messages from her four besties recently. Saturday night is a night she can completely blow her sleep schedule, and then use Sunday to recover. The brothers never miss a chance to take her gallivanting through the New York night scene- or, at least ask her over for video games, or skating, or whatever else that’s caught their attention that night.

And yet, against all usualness, her phone remains undisturbed.

Figuring it can’t hurt to check in on them, April dials the eldest brother and waits for an answer. She gets none. April rings Donnie next, going down the line according to birth- or maybe hatching? Whichever, it doesn’t really matter, since Donnie doesn’t answer either.

Third time’s the charm. April calls Leo.

He answers.

 _“Hiii, April, this is a super duper bad time,”_ Leo says, voice hoarse and painful sounding.

“Leo? Dude, you sound like you gargled shrapnel,” April remarks, frowning.

“ _Yeah, I’m- ah, AH-”_ Leo sneezes loudly “ _-a little sick.”_

“You sure sound sick. Is that why no one’s picking up? They all takin’ care of you right now?”

“ _Uh, not exactly.”_

“Why not? You sound horrible.”

“ _They’re, um. They’re sick, too?”_

April is a little surprised to hear that, but with close quarters the isolated family lives in, that would make sense. “Aw, dude, that’s shitty. You want me to come around and give a hand?”

“ _N-no! No, no, that’s a bad idea.”_

“What- why is that a bad idea? I can deal with vomit or snot, and I’ll wear a mask and gloves if it’s really that bad.”

“ _It’s- uh. Oh god, um. It’s- it’s a lot more complicated than that? Uh. You know what, you really, really wouldn’t wanna be down here right now. We’re all to-tally disgusting, and who knows, mutant viruses might mutate an’ hop over to infect you, too.”_

“Uh, that’s what the gloves and mask would be for-?”

_“Mhm, nope. You can’t come, sorry. I’ll call you when we’re better again ‘kay thanks bye!”_

Leo hangs up on her. April takes her phone away from her ear and gives it a funny look in place of her friend.

“Well that was weird,” she says to herself. Then she shrugs and goes to look for disposable rubber gloves, the thicker cleaning rubber gloves, and the stash of medical masks from when a string of colds hit her apartment block.

Like hell she’s letting her friend macho-man his way out of getting help when his family needs it. April thought Leo was above that kind of nonsense, but it looks like that opinion was wrong.

“Dad, I need the soup,” April says, passing her father’s office as she packs around her supplies.

“The cans are in the spinney rack by the kitchen sink cupboard,” her dad replies distractedly. He’s hard at work even today, while April has a bit of free time between finished homework and the start of the looming next week.

“No, the microwave ones.”

“Don’t eat the lazy food when you’ve got time to make real food, April.”

She backtracks and sticks her head into his office. “Not for me, for my _friends,_ dad. They need easy stuff that’ll also keep if they can’t eat it right away.”

Kirby stops typing at his computer, turning in his swivel chair. He adjusts his black framed glasses as he looks at her. April looks back evenly.

“Are these for the friends you hang out with every weekend? And also don’t tell me anything about?”

“Yup.”

Her dad sighs. “You know, I’d still love to meet ‘em.” April smiles and says nothing. Kirby rolls his eyes. “We have about ten microwave soups in the pantry, same place we put ‘em when we brought them home.”

“Thanks, dad,” April says, darting in to kiss his cheek.

“If they’re homeless, which they _sound_ like they are,” Kirby says, catching April’s hand and squeezing it, “I wouldn’t judge them. You know that, right, April?”

“They’re not homeless, dad,” April says. “They’re just- not living anywhere with an address.”

“So they’re squatters.”

“ _No,_ dad.”

“I wouldn’t judge them then, either.”

“I love you, dad. I’ll be home later.”

“At least tell me their real names one of these days!”

“ _Bye, dad.”_

 

-/-

 

April has her mask and dual layered gloves in place as she approaches the lair’s entrance. The bag of instant soup swings on her arm, along with cheap but decent cold medicines from the drugstore. Entering with a called out, _“Hello?”_ gets her no greeting in response.

Weirdly, the lights of the lair’s main atrium are dimmed. Or rather… upon closer inspection of squinting upwards and adjusting her glasses, April realizes some of the strings of Christmas lights have been torn off the walls. In fact… the whole area seems kind of messed up.

April hums, suspicious. She walks to one of the ladders, sliding down rather than climbing. Her plastic bag slides up her arm as she cups her mouth, calling out, “Hey, anyone here? _Helloooo?”_

There’s movement in the corner of her eye, and that’s when April notices that there’s weird plastic hanging off the mouths of rooms surrounding the atrium. She sees something purple inside the one that’s still sealed tight, and thinks- _is that Donnie?_

“Dee? Dude, is that you?” April crosses the atrium, over the skate ramp and towards the sealed tunnel. “You got any idea where everyone else went-?”

“ _APRIL!”_ her friend yells, throwing himself at the thick plastic. She startles backwards a bit, and then watches in horror as Donnie leaves a trail of thick snot down the clear barrier.

“ _Dude,”_ April says, worried _and_ disgusted.

“Thank god you’re here,” Donnie says fervently, mashing his face against the plastic still. She watches him wiggle and sit up- weirdly not using his hands or even his legs properly. “You _have_ to help me.”

“What’s wrong?” April asks, immediately coming closer. “Did someone attack you guys? Did they get the others? And why’re you in here and not with them?”

“ _Raph and Mikey_ stuck me in here, the _traitors,”_ Donnie hisses darkly. Then he turns a beseeching look on her again. “But it doesn’t matter that they left me, _you’re_ here now. You can help me decide if do a crossover between the Adventure Zone with the Avengers or the X-Men!”

April stares at her friend for a moment. Then she leans to the side and takes a look at why Donnie isn’t standing up. His battle shell has chained his hands and feet together, with just enough length to move with so that he’s kneeling.

“Okay,” April says, folding her arms, “this is officially the lamest way a zombie virus could have gone. Donnie, you clearly chained yourself up so you couldn’t infect anyone else, and your brothers are out hunting down a cure so they can fix you. You probably got Leo before they could, though, which is why he sounded so sick over the phone when I reached him. Am I right? I have to be right. That’s exactly the kinda shit you four would get mixed up with.”

“ _No_ , obviously,” Donnie says. His glassy eyes jump around as he shuffles closer to the barrier, pressing against it harder. “Look, just let me out and help me input a manual override into my battle shell, and then I can get to my computer and start typing up my story! As soon as you help me pick which crossover I’m doing, of course.”

“Uh, no. I think you’re staying right where you are until I can find your brothers.”

“Oh, good! Raph’s right behind you, so you can just let me out now.”

April hears something _big_ hit the floor behind her, and all the hair on her arms stands up. She turns around slowly.

Raph is crouching where he landed, taking heaving breaths with his head down. His bandanna and wrappings are gone- even his belt is off. April starts to ask if he’s okay, why he’s naked even for him- and shuts up when Raph raises his head.

Raph’s eyes are blankly glaring at her, his mouth half open and dripping saliva. April thinks the lizard part of her brain squeaks, curls up, and dies on the spot.

“Heyyy… Raph,” April says slowly, not liking the absence of Raph’s usual good-natured self behind his eyes. “You, uh… you’re kinda drooling there, buddy-”

Her friend lets out a roar and charges right for her. April dodges, leaving Raph to plow through Donnie’s plastic prison.

“ _Raph! Thank you for letting me out. Do you wanna hear about my theories for how Loki could have survived Infinity War--?”_

April is already sprinting the opposite direction before Donnie’s rambling is cut off with a shriek. She hears Raph come back out of the adjacent room, growling low and heavy in his throat. April grabs the rungs of the ladder and climbs as fast as she can.

The ladder shudders violently as Raph rams into ir, and the sound of crunching, screeching metal comes from below right after. April just makes it to the rim of the level when the ladder is ripped right off its supports and out from under her feet. She claws at the edge, getting an elbow up and heaving herself over. She barely has time to get to her feet before Raph jumps onto the level, too; huge form blocking out the already dimmed light of the room.

“Okay, uh- I dunno what’s goin’ on right now,” April says quickly, backing away with slow movements, gloves making her fingers fumble as she reaches into her bag, “but Raph, dude- it’s me. April. You don’t wanna hurt your friend, right?”

April never really appreciated until this moment, just how _big_ Raph is and how sharp his teeth are. Both those attributes are amplified in intimidation factors as he howls and dives at her.

April chucks the soup cup in her hand and hears Raph choke as it lodges in his open mouth. He stumbles, clawing at the Campbell’s chicken noodle soup clogging his airway, and April only feels halfway sorry that it gives her enough time to bolt down another tunnel. She gets up the first ladder to the next level that she finds, winding deeper into the maze of tunnels and rooms and hoping it’ll be enough cover.

The winding rabbit’s warren of the lair is a lot less homey tonight; the darkened corners and rooms providing only fear inducing shadows. April can hear Raph crashing into stuff somewhere in the distance, and its far too close for comfort. Her heart is beating fast and panicky, breath hot against her skin as her mask blocks its escape, adrenaline tinting everything with a hyper sharp focus as she runs and runs-

Something darts out of the darkness of a room she’s passing, and it grabs her around the waist. April starts to scream, but her mask/mouth is covered as she’s dragged inside; the door shutting quietly behind them. She wrestles free by stomping on her assailant’s toes and whacking them with the bag of soup and medicine as she turns.

“ _Ow!_ April! I just _saved you_ , don’t hit me for it!”

April stops short of hitting them again, realizing its Leo hunching in the gloom. Then she raises the bag again and hisses, “You have _three seconds_ to prove to me you’re not infected!”

“I’m not- or- or I’m past that stage now?” Leo flinches and retreats backwards from April as she threatens him with the bag again. “Look I’m still sick but I’m _me_ again and I’m not crazy like everyone else so you’re safe please don’t hit me with rocks anymore.”

“…It’s soup,” April says, slowly lowering her weapon. “Also cold meds. Leo, what the _fuck_ is going on?”

“A _hugfest!”_ Mikey cries gleefully, springing out from under the bed and nearly tackling April. Leo however snags Mikey at the last second and bundles his little brother into a bearhug.

“ _Mikey!_ I told you to stay where you were!” Leo scolds.

“I’m sorry, Leon- I just couldn’t stay _away_ any longer!” Mikey says, tears in his eyes. His arms snap around Leo’s waist, crushing his brother in a hug. “I just- I just _love you guys,_ _so much.”_

“Mikey, no- god, why’re you so- _strong-_ ugh, FINE.” Leo seems to give up prying Mikey off him, letting his brother octopus him. “As long as you stay _quiet,_ and don’t touch April.”

“But- she needs a hug, _too-”_

“No, nope, I’m good,” April says quickly, backed up against the shut door. The darkness is starting to get easier to see in, especially since there’s a softly glowing lava lamp in the corner. They’re in Leo’s room, which, given that Leo seems to be hiding, makes sense. Where do sick kids go when they feel awful or scared? Their rooms, duh.

“So, who wants to explain what’s going on?” April says.

Leo sneezes into the crook of his elbow, sniffling. “Rat flu,” he says, sounding stuffed up. “It happens like, once a year or somethin’. Splinter gets sick, gets all’a _us_ sick, an’ then…”

April glances at Mikey, who is nuzzling Leo’s stiff cartilage stomach. “That happens?”

“Uh, among other things, yeah.”

“Like Donnie spouting fandom shit, and Raph tryin’a kill me?”

“Yeah, and- I- I _told_ you not to come, April. We’re sick and it’s _dangerous to be here.”_

“You didn’t say _dangerous,_ you said _disgusting._ Which is why I brought gloves an’ a mask and god damn _soup.”_ April brandishes the beaten-up bag for emphasis.

Leo sighs, and then coughs as it rubs his throat the wrong way. Mikey coos and stands up straighter, pushing his head against Leo’s cheek and nuzzling there instead. Leo just pushes him back down.

“You gotta go, April,” Leo says seriously, his dire expression a little foiled by Mikey’s happy chirps. “Before- before Raph finds you, or Mikey hits stage four.”

“Stage four?” April asks, looking at the cuddlebug turtle nervously. “Is that the stage Raph is in?”

“No, Raph is still stage two. We all move through the stages at different paces- I get through ‘em within a few hours, an’ then I’m just regular sick for a few days after, but Raph, uh. He gets stuck on stage two for-fucking- _ever_ , and it’s really dangerous if he’s not contained. Which he isn’t.”

April runs her free hand over her scalp, struggling to process things. “Okay, I get that part- but what’s so bad about stage _four_ , then, if that’s what stage _two_ looks like?”

“We, uh.” Leo grimaces. “We kinda unlock really rad ninja skills when we’re on stage four, and that’s a lot harder to outsmart than someone blindly attacking stuff.”

“Jesus. What the hell kind of flu _is this?”_

“The mutant type. Which is why you have to _leave._ I’m not contagious anymore, but they all are! And we have no idea how this affects humans, so you- you shouldn’t have come here in the first place, April!”

April opens her mouth to retort, but yelps instead as something hits the door behind her.

“It’s Raph- shit, shit- quick, through here!” Leo drags a dresser to the side, reveling a hole in the wall just big enough for them to fit. “April, _c’mon_ , it’s too small for him and it leads to the game room downstairs.”

April drops the deadweight of her soup and medicine, getting to her knees in front of the opening and crawling inside. It’s a claustrophobia inducing kind of space, with almost sheer darkness to see in and barely sturdy planks of wood jutting from the two walls.

“Go, _go, go, go!”_ Leo says, pushing April forwards with his foot and dragging Mikey behind him. The dresser is pulled in front of the opening once again, and then its pure darkness.

April descends carefully, feeling for the steps and ignoring the sensation of what is probably cobwebs. Spiders are far less scary right now than the bellow of anger Raph is making above, audible even through the stone. She hits solid ground again after a few painfully long moments, and feels Leo drop down next to her a beat later.

“Shh.” Leo pushes against whatever is blocking the exit, letting light creep through the crack. He peers through the crack for a long few seconds, and then sighs and pushes the empty game cabinet out of the way completely.

Leo is out first, and then April, and she sucks in a breath of relief as her eyes adjust to light again. The game room’s overhead lights are off, but the cabinets are all still on, providing soft ambient light. Leo gives the perimeter one more check, before crouching next to her and whispering, “Okay, coast is clear. We’re gonna make for Donnie’s lab and put down the blast doors.”

“I thought I was supposed to _leave,”_ April whispers fiercely.

Leo gives her an apologetic look. “I just realized that Raph might follow you out, and that’d be- suicidal. For everyone involved. I’d… I’d rather you stayed here until he moves stages, instead of him chasing you up to the surface.”

April groans very quietly, aborting the motion to rub her face as she remembers she has both gloves and a mask on. She settles for scowling under her mask as Leo leans into the crawlspace again, whisper-calling, “Mikey? Mikey, we’re going this way, c’mon.”

Then he goes silent for a moment, and leans back out. April doesn’t like the look of dread in Leo’s expression.

“He’s hit stage four,” Leo says in a hoarse whisper. He grabs April’s hand and drags her to her feet, pulling her into a sprint out of the game room and along the walkway of the atrium.

“Where is he?” April asks, looking around frantically.

Leo speeds up their pace even faster, breathlessly saying, “I don’t know, just keep _running!”_

The only warning for the attack is the faint whistle of something through the air. April hears it before Leo does, and she trips him up so he stumbles, ducks down, and narrowly misses having the spinning blades of a kusari-fundo carve up his head.

Leo takes the whole thing in stride, spinning April out of the way and drawing his sword in one smooth motion. He deflects the next attack from Mikey, who has swung down from the level above and is advancing with an even scarier expression than Raph had had.

Raph was clearly off his rocker and more than halfway feral. Mikey is looking at them with _calculation,_ sharp and crystal focus. He knows what he’s doing. He knows what he _wants_ to do. And Leo will have to fight his own little brother if they want to get out of this.

April jumps backwards as Mikey jumps forwards and the person between them swings his sword down in a single clean slice. There’s a flash of brilliant blue, and then Mikey is gone.

“Oh thank god that worked,” Leo gasps as the portal closes up. Then, arms drooping, he says, “But- fuck, I don’t know where he went. April, what if he’s-”

Another portal opens up below, dropping Mikey flat on his face in the middle of the skate ramps. Off to the side, Donnie spots he’s been joined on the ground floor, and starts wriggling his way over.

“He’s fine,” April says, grabbing Leo’s arm and hauling him towards Donnie’s lab.

Leo knows the lab better than her, so April just gets as deep into it as she can while her friend hits the emergency lockdown. The blast doors come down and the vents are sealed shut; locking them in a metal box that’ll hopefully keep everyone else out. As she slides down against the far back wall, April tries to catch her breath and recount how long she’s been here.

The digital clock on her phone says she’s been here for about… ten minutes? Maybe? April feels like that’s an unfairly short amount of time for so much craziness.

Leo comes and slides down against the wall, too, but a few feet over from her; dropping his huge sword on the floor beside him. They sit in silence for a bit, panting heavily. In Leo’s case, he’s coughing here and there as well, and April can’t help but lean away from him now that she knows what kind of flu he’s got.

She’s pretty sure Leo notices, because he curls up on himself and shuffles another foot away. The tense silence doesn’t break, even then.

April checks her phone after another bit, reading that it’s been a whole five minutes of attack free time. She grimaces deeply. She’s hiding out in what constitutes as a bomb shelter right now- some of Donnie’s inventions definitely counting as live explosives- and her friends are outside of it, either loopy as all get out or looking to tear them apart.

“This is insane,” April says, mostly to herself.

“…Well, you didn’t have to come,” Leo mutters accusatorily. When April turns a look on him, he shoots her a glare. “I told you, I _literally_ told you not to come, and you still did. Couldn’t you have just kept out of our business for _once?”_

April balks at the angry words. “Excuse you - I was trying to _help_ you all. You were sick, what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t come around and check in on you?”

“We don’t need your help,” Leo says, “we managed just _fine_ on our own all the years before we met you, and guess what- we were managing just fine without you tonight!”

“You were _hiding_ _in your_ _room,_ from your crazy brothers who-”

“-who I know how to handle like this just fine! I didn’t want you here, April, and now you’ve gone and screwed everything up!”

“Well- well you could have just _told me_ what was going on, now couldn’t you?” April snaps. “You could have just explained, _‘oh yeah, my whole family is infected with a mutant virus that makes us attack people. You probably shouldn’t come over for a few days’._ Now would that have been so hard?’

“ _Yes!”_ Leo yells.

“And why the fuck is _that?”_

“Because I was afraid you wouldn’t come back _at all!”_

April’s offended anger deflates at the crack in Leo’s voice. Her friend doesn’t look at her, scrunching up on himself and hiding his face.

“I was afraid that- that if you knew what kind of crazy sickness we could get… you wouldn’t wanna be our friend anymore,” Leo says quietly, sniffling from something besides his flu. He scrubs at his eyes, dislodging his mask and letting it fall to hang around his neck. “You should’a just stayed away, like I told you to.”

“Oh, Leo- Leo, _no_ ,” April says, moving over to be near him. He doesn’t come out of his miserable ball even as she wraps an arm around him. “I would’ve come back, dude. I would’ve just waited for the all clear and then brought soup, like I did today. I’m not gonna stop being friends with you over something you can’t control.”

“But this- this is different than everything else,” Leo mumbles. “Rat flu is _scary,_ and really dangerous, and- you could’ve gotten seriously hurt, April. Raph would’ve never forgiven himself if he _did_ actually hurt you, an’ neither would Mikey, and you would’ve… hated us, probably.”

This is possibly the saddest April has ever seen Leo. He’s the brother that keeps his negative emotions close to his chest, keeps things light and easy instead. Mikey and Raph let everyone know how they’re feeling, and Donnie doesn’t let _anyone_ know what he’s feeling- and Leo is somewhere in the middle of that. Baring serious emotional vulnerability? Not something Leo likes to do at all.

“Hey,” April says, giving her stiff friend a hug, “I didn’t get hurt, and I don’t hate any of you guys. I wouldn’t hate you, period, okay? You’re my best buds. Doesn’t matter what kinda weird stuff happens with you all, I’m still gonna be your friend when it’s over. You got that?”

It takes another moment, and then the tension April can feel all through Leo relaxes. “…Yeah,” Leo says quietly, wrapping his arms around her and putting his head against her shoulder. “I… I got it. Thanks. Um, and sorry. For not telling you up front ‘bout what was happening.”

“You’re forgiven,” April reassures him, squeezing him gently and then letting go. Leo still looks sickly and exhausted, but not nearly as miserable as before, so April gives him a smile. She’s rewarded with one in return.

“So… now what?” she asks, glancing around the lab. The purple glow of all the machines provides plenty to see by, but the setting feels a bit too much like some sci-fi horror movies April’s seen.

“I think we just… wait it out?” Leo says. “I mean, at least until Mikey and Raph move to their next stages. You’d be able to slip out once they do.”

“And they can’t get inside here?”

“We tested it against Splinter’s skills back when Donnie decided this should be our saferoom, in case someone got into the lair. Not even pop could get inside.”

“Well, that’s some good news. But how’re we supposed to know when the cost is all clear if we’re- you know. Sealed in. This place doesn’t exactly have windows.”

“Uhhhh… I think Don’s got a camera thingy somewhere around here…”

They do some hesitant tapping of keys and disturbing of monitors. It takes a couple tries, but a program on a tablet attached to the wall reveals itself eventually. Its thankfully accessible without codes- god knows neither of them would be able to guess whatever string of phrases or numbers Donnie would use- and it turns on a collection of small surveillance cameras outside the room.

“There’s Mikey and Donnie,” April says, pointing at the camera aimed at the atrium’s ground floor. She’d been a little concerned about leaving a semi-murderous Mikey out there with a semi-delusional Donnie, but rather than having attacked Donnie… Mikey seems to be dancing with him?

“Oh, that would be stage five and stage seven, then,” Leo says, visibly relieved.

April raises an eyebrow at the limp way Donnie is moving around, arms and legs sluggish as Mikey spins him. “And what’s going on down there, exactly?”

“Stage five is karaoke, and stage seven is the ‘ _must say yes’_ stage. So. Mikey is probably re-enacting The Heathers, and Donnie couldn’t refuse when he got dragged into it.”

“…I’d love for those words to make any sense at all.”

“In our defense, Donnie _did_ figure out that the virus mostly attacks our neuro-” Leo cuts off to let out an enormous sneeze, and April slides a step away from him as he hacks and sniffles. “Sorry, ‘m gonna be like this a while yet.”

“It’s chill,” April says, grateful she wore her protective layers and thoroughly covering clothes. “Long as you sneeze _away_ from my general vicinity, we won’t have a problem. So you were saying?”

“Ugh, yeah.” Leo pulls a tissue out of his belt pouch, blowing into it noisily. He tosses the balled-up paper towards the wastebasket in the corner, missing the shot. “Basically, the virus attacks our neurological centers or whatever, shutting down a bunch of stuff while heightening activity everywhere else. Or something. I, uh, didn’t pay full attention the first bit of the lecture, but I did get that it’s kinda like… uh…” He scratches his head. “I had a metaphor for this, but I think my brain’s a little broken still.”

April laughs. “Not up to the one-liners tonight?”

“God, what else can this stupid flu take from me? I might as well be an invalid- who am I without my awesome wit?”

“A dork, but you were that already.”

“You know what- _you_ , shut up. I’m fly as f- f-”

Leo sneezes violently. April laughs again as he scrambles for a tissue. “You’re sick as fuck, that’s what you are.”

“I’ll choose to interpret that as a compliment,” Leo sniffs.

April starts to laugh again, but sudden movement on the screen grabs her attention. A huge green shape sprints across the floor at the two dancing turtles, and April’s heart catches in her throat. “Oh- shit, _Raph_ \- Leo, he’s gonna-!”

She cuts off, reflexively covering her mouth as Raph tackles both his younger brothers. She hears Leo curse and hurry to the door, starting to unlock it and get out there to save Donnie and Mikey. April almost moves away as well, but she stops as she realizes…

Raph has both his little brothers in his arms, but he seems to just be… hugging them.

“I… I think they’re okay, actually,” April says, watching Raph cuddle the literal snot out of his brothers on screen. Leo steps back over and stares, examining his big brothers and little brother.

“He’s finally on stage three, oh thank god.” Leo sighs loudly in relief as Raph gives a complaining Mikey a smooch on the head. “Well okay, then. They’re all fine, an’ I’m just… gonna lie down for a bit, now.” He sinks down to the floor, eyelids sliding down as well. “You can just… go home now. Bye, April.”

“Leo- dude, are you okay?” April asks, kneeling down with him. “Is this another stage?”

Leo shakes his head, yawning. “N-no. It’s like, the bonus level. We crash really bad after the stages, an’ then gotta sleep to recover. ‘s why dad didn’t get you out of here the minute you step inside. I think he’s sleeping in his armchair still.”

April looks over him, concern twisting in her gut over how tired Leo looks. “I can’t just leave you here like this, can’t I get you to your bed or something?”

“No time, an’ I wouldn’t make it that far anyway.” Leo yawns even wider, eyes drooping. “I’ve honestly just been staying upright ‘cause I found one of Donnie’s energy drinks before I hid me an’ Mikey. Buuuut… that was kinda a while ago and now I think I burned through it. ‘m gonna conk out right here, no worries.”

“Leo-”

“ _Shh, sh, sh…_ just five minutes, m’kay?”

“I can’t leave you here.”

“The floor is very comfy. It’s fine.”

“Bruh, you can’t- you’re _sick._ You need a bed.”

“An’ _you_ gotta go before Raph moves onto stage four. I’ll be fine, right here, on the floor, as long as I don’t move around. He’s not gonna notice me- but he _will_ notice _you._ ”

April purses her lips. Leo opens one eye with visible difficulty.

“’m gonna be fine,” he promises, quirking a tired smile. “We do this every year, it’s practically a family tradition. Go home, April. I’ll text ya when we’re all clear.”

“…Fine. I’ll bring soup when you do.”

“Thanks… I like creamy mushroom soup…”

April watches Leo slip away from reality, fall asleep practically before her eyes. He’s all crumpled up on himself there on the floor, curling up unconsciously since he’s definitely cold here. April stares at him for a few seconds, and then decides to do something a little risky.

Leo barely wakes enough at her touch to mumble, “April- April no, you need… this…”

“Shhh, I’ll be fine. I’ll just walk fast to the subway.”

“Don’t- don’ let ‘em infect you-”

“I’m not gonna. Promise. See you later, dude.”

Leo curls up again, fast asleep once more. April’s oversized dark green coat covers most of his upper body, so… it’s not an ideal blanket, but it’ll be better than nothing.

She checks the camera feeds one more time- Raph, still cuddling, Donnie and Mikey, still being cuddled- and opens the blast door. She leaves Leo behind with a pang of regret, but hurries to get out of the lair before anyone finds her again.

 

-/-

 

To: spicy wings  
From: despaleo

_Did u leave ur coat?_

 

To: despaleo  
From: spicy wings

_Uh yeah?? I gave it to you_

_Btw you have to wash it before you return it okay I don’t want any germs :p_

_No offense I just don’t wanna be sick_

 

To: spicy wings  
From: despaleo

_Duh and none taken_

_But when did you give it to me???_

 

To: despaleo  
From: spicy wings

_When u curled up all cute n shit on the lab floor cuz you were so sleepy_

_Like a kitten lol_

_A big stripy sleepy kitten_

 

To: spicy wings  
From: despaleo

_What_

_I don’t remember that wtf_

 

To: despaleo  
From: spicy wings

_You were p sick dude_

_Not surprised_

_Everyone okay now tho??_

 

To: spicy wings  
From: despaleo

_Yeah we’re good_

_I have a lot of new holes in my room’s walls tho_

_THANKS RAPH >_ _:((((_

_But other than that we’re just icky feeling_

_U_

 

To: despaleo  
From: spicy wings

_I???_

To: spicy wings  
From: despaleo

_Sorry didn’t mean to send yet_

_U wanna come over and maybe_

_Idk_

_Help fix the stuff we broke?_

_If you want_

_I gotta give you your coat back anyway_

_And Mikey made pizza_

_He washed his hands rlly good don’t worry_

_I did too_

_We all did I mean_

_Obviously we did_

_No germs left I promise_

 

To: despaleo  
From: spicy wings

_Leo chill slow down_

_I’ll come over_

_We’re cool_

 

To: spicy wings  
From: despaleo

_Oh_

_K_

:)

 

To: despaleo  
From: spicy wings

:)!

_I’m bringing soup_

 

To: spicy wings  
From: despaleo

_Ooo pls bring mushroom_

 

To: despaleo  
From: spicy wings

_I know_

_U already asked dork_

To: spicy wings  
From: despaleo

_???_

_Dammnit when I was sick right_

 

To: despaleo  
From: spicy wings

_Yup lmao_

 

To: spicy wings  
From: despaleo

:///

_Stupid flu_

 

To: despaleo  
From: spicy wings

_It was rlly cute_

_U were p loopy haha_

 

To: spicy wings  
From: despaleo

_Stfu_

_I’m a fearsome awesome amazing ninja warrior_

 

To: despaleo  
From: spicy wings

_Who sleeps like a baby kitten an likes mushy room soup_

_Mushroom*_

 

To: spicy wings  
From: despaleo

>:p

 

To: despaleo  
From: spicy wings

:3c

_K I’ll go get soup_

_I see yall soon_

 

To: spicy wings  
From: despaleo

_Oh okay_

_C u later_

_…thanks, April_

To: despaleo  
From: spicy wings

_Np_

 

To: spicy wings  
From: despaleo

_For the soup I mean_

 

To: despaleo  
From: spicy wings

_Of course_

 

To: spicy wings  
From: despaleo

_Oc_


	2. Shell in a Cell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I cannot believe you were on live TV for one of the biggest wrestling competitions in North America. And in over the top ridiculous wrestling outfits no less.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i literally couldn't stop laughing about april probably seeing her dumbass friends on live TV. this ficlet is p short, but i hope its entertaining anyway. no warnings needed, its just dorky teenage dialogue.

O’Neil wrestle night parties aren’t April’s favorite thing in the world, but they’re fun enough. She and her dad get junk food snacks, fry up a few burgers, and then settle down to watch fake violence go down on live TV. April is of the opinion that she could probably give the phony wrestlers a run for their money. Her dad hasn’t disagreed with her on that, even when she was barely clearing three feet a few years back.

April is just replenishing her Cheetos supplies when she hears her dad totally lose it. His excited yelling nearly makes her spill orange curls all over the counter.

“What’s happening?” she asks loudly.

“ _A last minute upset!_ Ghostbear just got his ass whupped by some- newcomer underdog kid. Honey, you gotta _see this,_ lookit this crazy kid!”

April gives up on recapturing all the Cheetos that made a run for it, and hurries into the living room. Kirby is leaned over his knees as the camera on screen pans around the wild stands; the crowds watching in-person absolutely losing it over whatever’s just happened.

“The costumes get weirder and weirder,” Kirby says, shaking his head and laughing. “April- look at him. I don’t even know how he’s breathin’ underneath all that latex.”

“I’m sure he’s got enough holes to-…” April stops, brain short circuiting as the usurper is shown on screen. Leo makes a kissy face at the camera, flexing his muscles theatrically. The champion belt hangs around his waist, barely not slipping down.

“Why is Leo on TV.”

“What?”

“Nothin’! I- I, uh, gotta call someone. Hold on!”

April bolts out of the living room and back to the kitchen, dialing the first contact for a brother that she can find- Donnie’s, thankfully, who should at least be able to explain the gist of what’s happened, and tell her whether or not she should start looking at ways to bail them out of a government laboratory.

“ _Hi-”_

“Donnie, thank god, what’s-”

“ _-I can’t come to the phone right now, I’m in my lab-_ ”

April hangs up on the stupid voicemail Donnie doesn’t even need- who’s gonna call them besides each other?- and gives a muffled scream of frustration. She dials the other three brothers, and gets no response on those ends either. As a last ditch effort, she calls Splinter.

“ _Hello.”_ Splinter’s tone is flat and annoyed as he answers.

“Splinter! I just saw Leon on TV, and-”

“ _Why is he on TV?”_

“Uh, I was tryin’a ask you that.”

“ _I am watching my gameshows; I do not know where those boys are other than_ not here _, thank god._ ”

“…Is this another ‘no one allowed home’ night?”

“ _Yes.”_

“So you have no idea-”

“ _April, I do not know even half of what my sons get up to when my back is turned, let alone when they are not home at all._

“What do we do, then?”

“ _Was blue bleeding?”_

“Uh, no-”

“ _Were any of the others?”_

“No, but-”

“ _Have they called asking for help?”_

April sighs. “No.”

“ _Then they are not in need of rescuing. They will call when they need help. Now, leave me alone! They are about to drop a contestant into the slime.”_

April hears Splinter hang up before she can even say goodbye. She groans and puts her phone to her forehead. God damn hands-off mutual trust parenting methods.

Slinking back to the living room, April absently picks up Mayhem as she goes; petting her little buddy as they chirp and purr in her arms. Her dad is just getting up from his spot on the couch as she comes back, picking up empty plates and pop cans.

“So, uh… what happened while I was gone?” April asks, scratching Mayhem’s big ears and looking at the TV commercials with trepidation. _Please don’t say my mutant turtle friend got dragged off by secret government forces._

“That underdog wrestler is gonna defend his title in the next round,” Kirby says jovially, chuckling. “This probably the craziest plot line they’ve come up with in a long time; a frog thing taking down the Ghostbear? Next thing we’ll have is the Liberty Gang fighting the Wolves of Wallstreet, haha.”

“I think he was a turtle,” April says, worried and exasperated.

“Really? Huh. They should have spent a little more money on the costume details; I can barely tell.”

Normally, April would laugh at that and text her friends about it, but now she just sits down with Mayhem and pets them, frowning. Her phone stays in her hand as she does so, debating whether or not to stalker-call the brothers until they pick up.

Except she’s distracted by her dad asking about helping him load the dishwasher before the break is over, and by the time they get back April finds she doesn’t need to call around looking for the other three brothers. They’re on TV, too.

 

-/-

 

“Oh my god, _no_ ,” April says in awed horror as Donnie betrays his younger brothers so dramatically. Its his shoulder pads, probably, that are really getting to her right now.

“Oh _yes!”_ her dad cheers. “Now _this_ is a good fight. The fake drama, the overly scripted reactions- I’m glad you said to start recording, kiddo. This is _hilarious.”_

April resists facepalming as Raph tosses Leo clean across the ring. “Yeah, I’m glad, too, dad.” She can’t tell if agrees because this is going to be really funny to watch later with the brothers, or if its because this might end up the last known sighting of them if they’re discovered as mutants.

Jessica Jaquelin on screen darts in and out of the camera view, snapping out narration of the fight fast as the brothers are moving. April would be more inclined to her usual affection for the ref- Jessica is _really_ cute- if the woman weren’t egging on her hairbrained friends with their fight.

“Why are you even _fighting?”_ April hisses to herself, wincing as Raph and Leo brawl.

“Because it’s good entertainment that a lot of people pay for, hon.”

“No, not- never mind.”

The camera pans to the other two brothers outside the ring, and- they’re not being as violent as Leo or Raph, but they’re definitely at each other’s throats. April really does facepalm at that point.

When she drops her hand from her face, she catches Mayhem giving her a pointed look from the coffee table. They look at her, and then at the TV, and then back to her; like they’re asking _hey, what’re those idiots doing on TV?_

April picks them up and cuddles them again- interrupting their snacking on burger remains for necessary emotional support. “I know as much as you do about what’s going on,” April says under her breath, petting Mayhem until they start purring.

By the point of Ghostbear making a reappearance to challenge for the champion belt again, April has given up trying to puzzle out what the hell her friends are thinking right now, and just shouts encouragements at the television along with her dad.

 

-/-

 

“I cannot believe you were on live TV for one of the biggest wrestling competitions in North America. And in over the top ridiculous wrestling outfits no less.”

“ _I know!”_ Raph says excitedly. “ _I got to punch Ghostbear and everything.”_

April smirks at her bedroom ceiling, grateful to hear Raph’s voice over the phone. At least they hadn’t been stopped during their escape from the stadium. “I also cannot believe you did that _without me.”_

“ _Hey, you said you had school, an’ we respect you got a humany schedule going on.”_

“Uh, if you’d told me you were literally crashing that party, I would’a said screw school and come along.”

“ _Noted for future escapades.”_

“So what the hell were you guys even fighting about through all that? You all looked pissed.”

“ _A couple of things. I was pissed at Leon ‘cause he ruined Ghostbear’s perfect record by squashing him-”_

“Which was kinda funny, you gotta admit.”

“ _In hindsight, true. That was a really funny fuck up on his part. But I was still mad because I didn’t know Ghostbear was a jerk yet, and I, uh, dunno what Don’s beef with Mikey really was. I think they were sharing too much headspace again and Mikey kept picking stuff before him, or something?”_

“Perfectly good reasons to duke it out on live TV and possibly expose yourself to the world.”

“ _That’s just how it goes with us.”_

“Having siblings sounds hectic.”

“ _Girl, you have no idea.”_

April laughs. “Okay, so that all aside- how was _Jessica Jaqueline?_ She looks like she smells spicy. Did she smell spicy?”

“ _Everything smelt like sweat, sorry.”_

“Dammnit!”

“ _Leo shook her hand, though, an’ I think she stepped on us both a little when she was stealing the belt.”_

“Which, fyi, was so iconic. Also I wish that’d been me.”

“ _What, winning the belt?”_

“Getting stepped on by Jessica Jaqueline, dummy.”

“ _Her heels are sharp as shit, dude.”_

“Hot.”

“ _…She does have good legs.”_

“Right??”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> personal notes:
> 
> -april is a lesbian  
> -raph is bi  
> -they bond over cute girls and its great


	3. Donnie's Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So sue me for wanting to help my brothers grow as ninjas!” Donnie exclaims loudly, throwing up his hands. He scowls, crossing his arms, and April winds down from her laughter, seeing that he looks genuinely frustrated.
> 
> “Aw, Donnie,” she says, shaking her head. “I’m sorry for laughing, but did you seriously think this one through?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aka the chapter where donnie tries to vent frustrations over his brothers, which he does, but then april gives him a bit of advice on that people just don't work how he wants them to.
> 
> no warnings! gen content with slightest hurt/comfort for a frustrated teen boy. also: lots of teasing siblings stuff, haha.

“-and then, even though I _tried_ to explain to them how they worked, no one would listen!” Donnie exclaims, pacing his lab. He stops, shrugging nonchalantly like he’s going to pretend he didn’t just spend the past five minutes ranting louder and louder. “Anyway, I possibly put that project on the back burner again, ‘cause none of my brothers wanted to follow the directions of their corrective behavior editors.”

April leans back in her beaten up office chair. She feels her lips quirking upwards.

Donnie gives her a flat look. “Don’t.”

“Don,” April says, breathing hitching. “Oh- my god.”

“ _Don’t._ Do not.”

“You _honestly-?”_

“Oh my god I shouldn’t have told you.”

April has to grab the seat of the chair, laughing. “H-hold on, I’m still makin’ a list of reasons why that was stupid.”

“Shut _up,_ shut up, _shut up!”_

“ _Haha-_ ‘corrective behavior editors’, Don, Donnie, buddy, my guy, _bruh-”_

“ _Goddddd-”_

“You’re such a- such a riot, dude, _hha._ Ow my side.”

“So sue me for wanting to help my brothers grow as ninjas!” Donnie exclaims loudly, throwing up his hands. He scowls, crossing his arms, and April winds down from her laughter, seeing that he looks genuinely frustrated.

“Aw, Donnie,” she says, shaking her head. “I’m sorry for laughing, but did you seriously think this one through?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact,” he says sulkily, not looking at her. “I put lots of time and effort into constructing inventions that would improve my brothers’ skillsets and encourage growth in others.”

“So good intentions, check. But did you think about how that would come across?”

“I-…” Donnie goes quiet, hunching his shoulders defensively.

“I just wanted to help them, you know?” he mumbles.

April sighs, smiling fondly. “I know, dude.”

“It’s just-” Donnie starts pacing again. “Mikey’s suit was supposed to help him get better at avoiding falls, remember to correct his balance and look where he’s going. Raph’s helmet was so he’d try observing the situation and plan _at least_ the first few steps, instead’a running head first into things. And Leo’s collar was ‘cause he just _stops_ in the middle of a fight and starts _talkin’_ and he just! Doesn’t understand that that’s dangerous to his long term health! None of them understand!”

April sighs again and stands from her swivel chair, kicking it back towards the computer it’d been in front of originally. She walks over to Donnie, who’s a bundle of wound up thoughts and upset feelings, and taps him on the shoulder.

He stops, shooting her a glance. April opens her arms. Donnie hesitates a moment, still looking upset, but then takes the hug.

April pats him firmly on the back, feeling his actual shell since its typical shield is in a charging station. “You meant well,” April says comfortingly, “but you can’t just fix people like that, hon. They tend to resist someone trying to force them to change.”

“I wasn’t…” Donnie sighs, shoulders slumping. “Okay. I was kind of doing that. I mean, it’s not that I don’t love them as they are, but my brothers… I can see how they could be better versions of themselves, but they. Won’t _listen.”_

April gives Donnie’s shell another pat, and leans back to look him in the eye. “We don’t have built in third eye view, Donnie. They got their own views of themselves, and they gotta figure out their own life choices. That’s just the way it is. However… you said you can see how they could grow, right? As people?”

Donnie nods. April smiles.

“Well, I see where _you_ can grow as a person, too. How about you use this as a chance to work on your communication skills, and _talk_ to them about this?”

Predictably, Donnie’s expression pinches, hissing through his teeth as he grimaces. April just about rolls her eyes, laughing. “Can’t be a hypocrite, dude. If you expect them to do something like that, you gotta expect it of yourself, too.”

“Oh god, _self-awareness,”_ Donnie groans theatrically. “Please, not yet. I was saving that for my late twenties.”

“You’re a mature kid, early bloomer and all that,” April teases, pinching Donnie’s cheek. He lightly slaps her hand away and she steps back, laughing at his disgruntled look.

“I resent that you won’t just let me keep wallowing in my self-pity,” he huffs. April shrugs helplessly.

“I can’t help it if I have wisdom to offer,” she gloats, clasping her hands behind her back. “It’s my duty as your bestie and big sis to make sure you grow up to be a sensible, kind, _sensitive_ young m-”

April can’t finish her teasing, because Donnie runs at her, grabbing for her and missing by inches as April shrieks and dodges. He chases her out of the lab, and as April reaches the walkway around the atrium, she yells, “Raph, _CATCH!”_

The eldest brother whips his head up, blanching. _“Wait April no I’m holding-!”_

April leaps off the walkway, falling through open air and feeling Donnie’s fingers brush just the ends of her ponytails. Raph drops the pizza box he’s holding and catches her with barely a grunt of effort.

“No, the _pizza!”_ Mikey cries, dropping his skateboard and diving for the box. Leo circles them on his own board, giving April a disapproving look for her disrespect of their midnight snack.

“Girl, seriously?” Raph admonishes, cradling April in his arms. She grins at him, and points upwards at Donnie, who is still leaning over the edge of the walkway.

“Donnie needs to talk to y’all about something,” she says, ignoring Donnie’s weak protest. “I figured this would get your attention the fastest.”

Donnie’s brothers all look up at him. Donnie gulps.

“Ah… maybe just a small thing,” he says in a mumble. Raph looks at April questioningly, probably checking with her about the severity of the _thing_ that needs to get talked about.

“Just some self-awareness practice,” April clarifies. “Maybe an apology or two.”

“I like apologies,” Raph says.

“But, _ew,_ exploring my own psyche with other people present?” Leo says. He circles closer to add, “I’m plenty self-aware without you guys being aware of that awareness, so I think I’ll pass.”

“Is this a team building exercise?” Mikey asks, seeming interested by the idea.

“Somethin’ like that, hopefully,” Donnie says, rubbing his face.

“ _Pass,”_ Leo says loudly. On the third brother’s next come around, Raph reaches out and plucks Leo off his skateboard, holding April and his brother at the same time with ease. Leo whines and struggles, but gets tucked under Raph’s arm anyway.

“ _Raph!”_

“If April thinks us havin’ a team building exercise is a good thing, then I think it’s a good thing, too,” Raph says.

“And this is why you’re my favorite,” April says with a grin.

Mikey gives a dramatic gasp, darting over to hang off Raph’s arm and aim kicked puppy eyes at April. “Your favorite’s not _me?”_ he says.

That makes April snort and giggle. “Aw, how could I tell a face like that no?” April says, patting Mikey’s head. He laughs, pushing up against her palm. “Sorry, Raph. Got a new fave.”

“You know what, I don’t blame you,” Raph says, winking. “Mike’s my favorite, too. He made me a whole new sandwich when I asked him if he was gonna share his.”

“You’re very welcome,” Mikey says, beaming.

“Wow, really feelin’ the love tonight,” Leo says dryly, still hanging under Raph’s arm. “Fuck all of you.”

“Even me, oh twin of mine?” Donnie asks, crouching over the walkway’s edge like a gargoyle.

“You brought this all on, so extra fuck you.”

April and the other brothers laugh. As Raph tosses Leo up to the next level and jumps up after, while Mikey scales the ladder and April follows him- Donnie remains crouched on the edge, biting his lip and looking somewhat nervous. April gives him an encouraging shoulder squeeze as she passes, and gets an exasperated smile in return.

“If this goes awful,” Donnie says to her as they’re all herded into the lab, “I completely blame you.”

“I’ll take half that blame if worst comes to worst, but all’a the credit if it goes great,” April says, giving him an affectionate jab to the bicep. He punches her back, which just makes her smile and laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh yeah probably people have noticed, but this story isn't linear to the series' episodes chronology. i kinda just toss fics out as i'm inspired to.


	4. Mascot Melee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So the plan is for Raph to dress up in a mascot costume, wade through the enormous crowds Time Square, go into a store in broad daylight and purchase a new robe for their dad. Yeah, like that won’t go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> when i showed my sister mascot melee, she said "april totally knew what was gonna happen, she made that gif on purpose for this".
> 
> so here's a headcanon for yall, because that gif really was very convenient.

From: pumpkin spice  
To: hey batta batta

_Yeah we’re getting it today!_

_Like no offense to dad but we can’t keep doin trainin with his robe like that_

_Okay no more talking now we’re at the square gotta go!!_

_Ttyl gal <333_

 

April stares at the text from Mikey, a little disbelieving, a lot resigned.

So the plan is for Raph to dress up in a mascot costume, wade through the enormous crowds Time Square, go into a store in broad daylight and purchase a new robe for their dad. Yeah, like that won’t go wrong.

April loves the brothers, but sometimes she has to wonder about their life choices.

April closes her phone screen and drops the device on her comforter. Reaching over the edge of her bed, she grabs her school bag and pulls it up to her. Taking out her laptop and tablet, April enters her password and fires up Photoshop.

 Time to head a disaster off at the pass. Also, Mikey sent her a picture of Raph in his hippo costume, and god. What a dork. She _has_ to do something with the inspiration coming from Raph’s cute disguise.

She grabs her phone again and emails herself the picture. Then, using it as reference, crafts an animated version of her ridiculous friend. It doesn’t take more than a few minutes, since it’s just a simple gif, plus that she’s really gotten a knack for Photoshop.

April smiles at the finished product, watching it loop a few times to check the quality. Satisfied, she uploads it onto her social media accounts, sends one to the brothers, and sits back to let her few thousand followers do the rest.

 

-/-

 

From: pumpkin spice  
To: hey batta batta

_It was so wild! We had a dance fight and everything!_

_Well it turned into a real fight at the end and we kinda had to beat em up_

_But still fun!!_

 

From: hey batta batta  
To: pumpkin spice

_Yeah I saw yall on twitter_

_You’re still trending_

 

From: pumpkin spice  
To: hey batta batta

_I know!!!_

_We’re famous_ :D

 

From: hey batta batta  
To: pumpkin spice

_You certainly are dude_

_Don’t forget me in your fame tho_

_I’m the one who made that gif in the first place_

 

From: pumpkin spice  
To: hey batta batta

_No duh_

_Course we give full credit to ya_

_We are but actors fulfilling the op’s artistic vision_

 

From: hey batta batta  
To: pumpkin spice

:))))

 

From: pumpkin spice  
To: hey batta batta

_K we got training now_

_Gonna give dad the gift!!_

_I hope he likes it_

_Its super soft when I rub the collar_

_So like if he don’t want it I know I do!_

 

From: hey batta batta  
To: pumpkin spice

_Tell me how it goes later_

_He’ll definitely love it_

 

From: pumpkin spice  
To: hey batta batta

:DDD

_Bye gal_

 

From: hey batta batta  
To: pumpkin spice

_Bye!_

 

 

-/-

 

 

From: pumpkin spice  
To: hey batta batta

_April my eyes are literally burning_

_We fucked up_ :(((

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this episode spawned my headcanon that april has very popular social media accounts, maybe because of conspiracy posts she makes or crazy photos she takes from places she really shouldn't be able to get to. whichever it is, i'll figure it out as the series develops!


	5. Minotaur Maze + The Fast and the Furriest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This is totally gonna go wrong,” April says, tugging her scarf higher, “but I’m also totally down for it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven't forgotten about this series, i've just been busy with a very large fanfic that'll get released around nov 30th - dec 1st or somethin.
> 
> anyway, i've combined the MM and FATF episodes for this ficlet. i thought the boys would totally wanna bring april around to the pizza place, bc where else are they gonna all get to eat together in public? (gen rating for this one btw)

“This is totally gonna go wrong,” April says, tugging her scarf higher, “but I’m also totally down for it.”

“We’ll be _fine,”_ Leo says, sauntering over to the graffiti covered wall and leaning on it. “Your disguise is perf, no one’ll suspect a thing.”

“And this is ignoring the fact,” Donnie says blandly, “that the last time we were here, we got kicked out.”

“Cool, cool,” April says, ready for that to happen. It’s so weird. If this were a human establishment, she’d have knots in her stomach from anxiety. But since it’s for _mutants,_ and she’s with her best friends… that social anxiety isn’t bothering her tonight.

Sad though it may be that she’s got practically zero human friends, at least she’s always got the brothers to cheer her up after a long day of school. Tonight, they’re doing that by dragging her into a pizza joint for and by mutants.

This will either go fantastically, or horribly, or fantastically horribly.

April is excited enough she’s feeling adrenaline butterflies in her stomach instead of those knots she tends to get. Just like always, spending time with her friends.

“Alright,” she says, pulling her hood as far forwards on her head as far she can, “let’s do this.”

Raph grins at her, and then holds out his fingers in a pinching motion. Then they light on _fire,_ which is the second coolest thing April’s seen tonight. The second, only because the fire swirling around her friend’s hand is followed quickly by the wall _warping into an entryway,_ and Mikey instructing them all to jump quickly.

April does so without any hesitation.

 _God_ , she loves her friends. She’s only just set foot in the restaurant, and already the gross feelings of earlier are melting away. The warmly lit entrance is great, lamps dancing light across richly colored stone floors, and scenic murals along the walls giving off an ambient invitation to come further in. With Leo already sauntering off like he owns the place, April grins to herself and follows with the rest of their group.

From under her disguise, April glances around and silently wonders at all the mutants eating at the tables. Some have clothes on, and some are mostly naked, like the brothers. Some she can identify the animals they were mutated with, and others…

They pass one table that has a small mutant with a glowing eye in the middle of their forehead, and flames licking the lengths of their impressively tall horns. April is pretty positive there’s not a single creature on earth that does _that._

“Don, Don, _Don,”_ she hisses, grabbing her friend’s arm and tugging him close. “Dude. There’s basically a _demon_ eating over there. You see that, right?”

Donnie checks over his shoulder and nods. “Yeah… I dunno what’s up with her, honestly,” Donnie whispers to her, “but she’s the one who led us to this place, and she uses an old lady disguise outside of here, so… if she’s a demon, she’s a really chill one.”

“But- have you tried figuring out if she’s mutant or something else?”

“Well, I-”

“ _Hello,”_ says a smooth voice in front of them, a flare of green flames causing them to stop short. April’s eyes go wide at the real life _talking skeleton,_ that’s on fire no less, standing right in front of them. And… happens to also be dressed in a very classy suit.

His blankly dark sockets bore into them all. Unlike during lunchtime when April had been bullied away from her lunch table, by classmates just staring at her pointedly, she raises one eyebrow at the supernatural creature and fearlessly crosses her arms.

“Sup,” she replies, popping the P.

The skeleton flatly glares at them all, green flames licking his white skull and black fedora. “So, _turtles,”_ he says in a velvety accent, looking from one brother to the next, “have you come to disrupt my restaurant for a _third_ time?”

Raph clears his throat awkwardly, taking up his roll of ‘semi-responsible eldest brother’. “Uh, we- no, no we did not. We’re just here to eat pizza, promise.”

“So you are challenging our maze again?”

Mikey jumps in hurriedly, saying “ _Nope,_ no, no we are not. We’re just gonna have a normal dinner and normal conversation and leave a nice tip after, ‘kay? Promise. We’re definitely done with the maze.”

“The maze?” April questions her younger friend.

“Yeah. The dumbass adventure Leo dragged us into last time,” Mikey tattles, pointing at his brother as Leo gasps in offense.

“It wasn’t dumbass!” Leo protests.

“He’s right,” Donnie says seriously, nodding. Leo gives him a grateful look, but then Donnie smirks mischievously. “It was _super_ dumbass.”

“ _Donniiiiie-”_

“Are you going to _behave?”_ demands the skeleton they’d been ignoring. Somehow, despite lacking facial expression, he looks very annoyed and tired. “That is all I care about. You four- five, counting your friend there- behaving in my restaurant. And you have only one shot at this, because I assure you, I will not hesitate to throw you out just like last time.”

His green flames flare up again, threatening and admittedly impressive.

April leans towards Donnie, whispering, “We could take him.”

 _“Shhh,_ ” Donnie whispers back. He pauses, and then adds, “…Okay, probably, but let’s not ‘cause he has magic and I haven’t quite perfected my countermeasures for that.”

“What are you two whispering back there?”

“Nothin’!” April and Donnie chorus quickly. April coughs. “Yeah, we’re, uh, just talking about what we might order! And how well we’ll behave when we do order. And pay.”

The skeleton looks at her for a long moment, and April sweats under her layers of clothes, a little scared she’s about to be discovered. Then, he nods at her.

“You four could learn a thing or two from your friend,” he says, chuckling. “They are very polite. And partially on account of that, I will give you _one_ more chance.”

“Thank you!” Raph says, clasping his hands in that adorable way he does when he’s really happy. “We promise we won’t waste it.”

The skeleton shakes his head and steps aside, waving them along towards a large booth table for them. He stops April with a gentle touch on her arm, however.

“You know, Mx,” he says softly, “you are welcome to remove your disguise in my restaurant. This is a safe place for all of New York’s hidden residents.”

April is touched by the sincerity in his tone. He really means it, and she revaluates his restaurant, what it means. This is somewhere she and her best friends can finally sit down and have a normal outing together, just like every other teenager in New York. For every other patron of the restaurant, this is a reprieve from living in a society that isn’t built for them, and actively rejects their kind.

“I know, thank you,” April says, but not on her own behalf. She glances at the brothers and their table, the four of them jostling for spots and bantering as they do.

April smiles warmly, the curl of her lips hidden under her scarf.

 

-/-

 

“Wait, wait, wait, _wait,”_ April says, slapping her palms on the table and leaning forwards. “ _No one_ said anything about there being a _wall of shame_ with your picture on it!”

Leo groans loudly and hides his face in his arms on the table. “’cause I told them _not to.”_

“Whoops,” Mikey says, shrugging unrepentantly. “Guess it just slipped out, bro.”

April smirks at Mikey’s sneaky gleam in his eyes. After what he said about them wandering around for hours, with their youngest sibling starving worse and worse, she’s unsurprised by the mild revenge.

“Okay, we got a few more minutes before pizza gets here. You are _showing me the wall.”_

Leo moans and begs and is sufficiently ignored. Raph just shuffles Leo along under his arm, while Donnie and Mikey eagerly lead her towards their photographic evidence of Leo’s messy adventure ending. Their snickering is downright infections.

April ends up wheezing, looking at the ridiculous photo that’d been taken of them.

“Apr _iiiiiil,”_ Leo whines, shoving her. April just keeps laughing, which earns her a pouty scowl. “I had a bruise on my face for almost a _week_ after this was taken! Have a lil sympathy!”

“I- hh- gimme a sec, _ha,”_ April cackles.

“You absolutely deserved that bruise, Leonard,” Donnie says blandly, examining his recently trimmed claws. Leo turns his scowl on his brother, which Donnie is completely unaffected by. “We spent five _hours_ trapped in that maze. _Five._ Do you know how much work I could’ve gotten done on my lab projects?”

“Like _what?_ Shined your ego stroke of a statue a few hundred more times? Where did you even get that much titanium, Donald.”

“Don’t call me that, and you’re better off not knowing.”

“You called me Leonard.”

“I tend to, yes.”

“So I get to call _you_ Don-”

“And we’re not having this fight again,” Raph intercedes, grabbing his two younger brothers and picking them up, one in each hand, to move them apart. “Leo, you know Donnie banned that nickname almost two years ago. Donnie, put the bo away. We’re tryin’a be _civil_ tonight, aight?”

Donnie grumbles, collapsing his sparking staff and putting it away. Leo huffs and crosses his arms, but doesn’t try resuming the budding conflict. April pulls off her glasses, wiping her eyes and winding down from her laughing fit.

“Well, I’m saving this picture forever,” she announces, drawing attention away from the middle sibling squabble. She takes out her phone and approaches the framed picture, flipping to selfie mode. “Who wants in?”

“Ooh, me me me!” Mikey says, rushing to her side and hugging her tightly. They take one together, then are joined by Donnie and his tech bo turned selfie stick. Raph joins at the same time, dragging Leo in with him.

They manage to get a smile out of Leo with a bit of cajoling, and April pulls down her scarf and grins wide and sincere as the camera snapshots their mirth.

 

-/-

 

Mayhem joins the party later, teleporting into April’s lap out of the blue. The five of them are halfway through their second pizza, with April sneaking bites when no strangers are looking at her face, tugging her scarf down for brief seconds. Though she scolds her little friend for poofing into a restaurant like this, she’s convinced to give them a slice of pizza anyway.

Mayhem’s begging eyes are impossible to resist, that’s just a fact about her life. Like the four turtle brothers surrounding her in the booth are facts about her life.

April has school tomorrow, honestly, but doesn’t want this to end yet. This is the _first time_ they’ve all gotten to go out together like this. She never brought it up, but however much April gets a thrill out of the stuff they usually get up to together, sometimes… she just wants to go out for food and gossip with her besties, like other teens in her school do.

She wouldn’t trade the brothers for anyone in the world; they’re more than family at this point. It’s just… it gets lonely during the day, without them around. If she could sit at lunch with them, every day at school, just like they are right now… April doubts she’d ever feel excluded or lonely in her school ever again.

But that’s not going to ever happen, and it doesn’t matter either way. She gets to eat and gossip with them, here and now. Mikey has gotten a hold of crayons from the waiter, and has entered into a very intense game of tic-tac-toe with Raph on their napkins. Donnie and Leo have made up over their brief tiff, and are showing her some of the comments on her twitter account posts, so they can laugh at how wrong people are about the purposefully blurry cryptid photos April snaps of their adventures. She even has Mayhem purring away in her lap, licking their chops of pizza sauce.

Screw school lunchtimes. If April had as much control over her life as she wanted, she’d never have to go through another one of those, and just spend her time with her adoptive family instead.

After they scrape together a couple wads of fives and some scattered change Donnie and Mikey have, they leave hardly a crumb on their pizza platters as they leave. The night is getting towards true midnight, and April feels a little heavy with sleepiness after their meal.

Donnie, without having to be prompted, has her chair on his hovershell ready to go.

Gliding through the cool night air, April pulls down her scarf and hood. Her other three friends race the rooftops as Donnie flies them along, trading breathless conversation the whole while. The wind blows dust across her glasses and sweeps over her tightly braided hair, filling her lungs and bringing a bright smile to her face as Donnie drops them steeply through the air, both of them laughing at the rush. Mayhem, clinging to April’s stomach, makes their displeasure at the crazy flying known the whole time with warbly little yowls.

By the time they get to her apartment, April is able to say goodbye with a few tight hugs, and head upstairs to her bed to collapse without hesitance. With the night’s fun lingering, and Mayhem’s warm weight curled up against her side, April can peacefully slip into sleep, and doesn’t fear the school day to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i personally really like the difference between "normal school girl april" and "mutants, magic, and shenanigans april". she's a very confident and brave individual with the brothers, but is nervous and desperate to fit in at school. so i'll probs change my approach with her in some of my other fics, since while she's completely comfortable with herself when she's with close friends, she's awkward with classmates. a very fun juxtaposition to her character traits!
> 
> i'll definitely do a ficlet for the new hynopotomus ep, since that's all about that. :333
> 
> edit a day after posting: i forgot to add the explanation to donnie banning the nickname "donald". two years ago was the election of a human canker sore to president of the united states. understandably, donald is a bit less popular a name as of late.


	6. Al Be Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well?” Mikey asks, bouncing around, gap tooth clear to see with how widely he’s grinning. “What’d you think??”
> 
> “Uhhhh…” April slowly takes her hands off her ears, looking between the brothers, seeing their proud or eager smiles aimed her way. She gulps, debating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mass robotic suicide by horrible music is, by far, one of my new favorite canon tmnt villain deaths. i also love the terminator reference with the name. the rottmnt writers are really my people lmao.

April’s ears are still ringing as Leo _finally_ finishes his big finale of a guitar solo. She should have sat at the back of the room. No, in the next room. Out in the atrium. Possibly just up on the surface and across the city.

She’s mostly reading lips right now. April wonders if Splinter’s sensitive hearing has left him deafer than she feels right now.

“Well?” Mikey asks, bouncing around, gap tooth clear to see with how widely he’s grinning. “What’d you think??”

“Uhhhh…” April slowly takes her hands off her ears, looking between the brothers, seeing their proud or eager smiles aimed her way. She gulps, debating.

Give them the truth and crush their hopes before they grow too big, _or,_ lie her ass off and suffer through god knows how many more of these ‘private shows’. Those are her options here.

Raph swings his microphone stand around, still using his horrible fake soul voice as he says, “We can give you another round if you need more time to decide, _baby_.”

April chokes on a sound that’s discomfort and laughter at the same time _. “Uh_ \- uh, no, no I’m good, I got a good sample just from that. Don’t gotta gimme another.”

“Then tell us what you thought already!” Mikey pleads, diving forwards into a handspring and launching himself towards the couch they’d sat her on. April is fairly used to terrapin ninjas jumping around her like this, so the most she does is move further to one side before Mikey lands beside her.

“We sounded great, didn’t we?” Mikey’s eyes are big and excited as he says that, bouncing a little on the couch cushions.

“We don’t _need_ validation from fans to know we’re awesome,” Donnie says haughtily, tapping his sound mixer and producing yet another series of terrible notes.  He darts a glance at her and then looks away quickly. “But, uh, of course we wouldn’t _completely_ ignore an adoring audience member. So, like Mikey said, you know, just- tell us what you thought or whatever. Not that we care.”

“What he said,” Leo adds, striking a pose with his guitar. Raph clicks his tongue and winks at her. April wonders how far she’d get if she ran right now.

“Uhhh… _IIIII_ …” April puts her hands together in front of her face, sucking in a slow breath through her teeth. “…I’m gonna be real here for a sec and ask you somethin’.”

“What?” Mikey questions, blinking.

“D'you guys want the easy answer or the hard answer?”

“ _Easy,”_ Leo and Raph reply immediately.

“Uh,” Mikey says.

Donnie narrows his eyes suspiciously. “Excuse me, what’s the ‘hard’ answer?”

“Mikey?” April asks, looking to the brother who’ll make or break the situation. Mikey hums nervously, eyes darting around.

“Thhheeee… _easy_ answer?” he says tentatively. Donnie makes a disgusted sound.

“Then y’all sounded great!” April says, clapping loudly a few times. Mikey’s expression brightens, like Raph’s does, but Leo-

“Hey- wait, wait if that’s the easy answer, then the hard answer _is-”_ Leo gasps in offense. “You think we sound terrible!”

“I knew it!” Donnie accuses, pointing at her dramatically. “You _hate us!”_

“I don’t hate _you guys_ ,” April says quickly. “Your music, it’s just- uhhh- it just needs to mature, a little! Like wine. Or something. Better with age, right?”

“They do say age before beauty,” Raph says thoughtfully.

Leo scoffs. “That’s a stupid phrase. If we all followed that, then I’d never get to go first for _anything.”_ He tosses his shaggy glam rocker hair over his shoulder for added effect. April thinks a cloud of glitter comes off of it as he does.

And then Donnie is _very suddenly_ in front of April, which makes her press back against the cushions as he says, _“Admit it!_ You despise our musical glory. Have the decency to at least come out and say it!”

April frowns at him, putting a hand on his helmet’s face and pushing him away. “I think you’re takin’ this whole thing a _liiiittle_ too seriously, Don,” she says firmly.

“It’s _important_ to us,” Donnie says insistently.

“Yeah, but I don’t love you enough to let you yell in my face. Take five steps back, buddy.”

“But-”

“Donnie,” Raph warns in his rarely used Big Brother voice, dropping his soulful accent all together.

Donnie crosses his arms and backs off, scowling as he does. April feels an awful twinge in her gut, seeing how upset he is. Mikey, too, as she glances at him beside her and sees a put-out expression on his face.

She sighs, wringing her hands together for a moment. She never feels anxious with the brothers, not like she does at school with her classmates- but she’s definitely getting close right now. She hates spoiling their night like this, and hates how the mood in the room has completely tanked. “Look… I’m not saying any of this to be mean,” April says sincerely. “You guys only just started your band, you’re not gonna be like, _Queen_ or anything yet. You got room to improve, but that’s not a bad thing, right? Just means there’s nowhere to go but up.”

“So you’re saying we’re bottom of the barrel,” Leo says blandly.

April winces. “ _No,_ not exactly, I mean… Everyone has to start somewhere. Like- I start new jobs all the time. Every single time I get a new position, I have’ta get trained up for it. Doesn’t matter if I’ve worked at a dozen other fast food places, they’re gonna make me relearn how to use the fryer. And like, I had a _first_ job, once. I was shit at it, ‘cause I was twelve and I hadn’t ever had a job before besides shoveling neighbor’s sidewalks.”

“So what’s that got to do with us and the band?” Raph asks, still a bit sullen.

“Life lesson shit,” April replies, shrugging. “No one’s perfect right off, I know that for sure. Just keep working at it and you’ll get where you wanna be… eventually.”

Leo hums snidely. “And how’s that attitude working for you and your jobs? Manage to keep any longer than five weeks yet?”

“Watch it, boy.”

“Sorry. Too far.”

“I’m,” Donnie starts, then mutters something, and then continues with, “I’m sorry for getting in your face. It wasn’t okay of me.”

“Well, I’m sorry, too, for not handlin’ this better.” April feels dread creep into her as she forces herself to smile. “You know what? I take back what I said. Hit me with another turtle original. I got another hour to kill a’fore I have to head out.”

She receives a resurgence of energy from Mikey and Raph, a grudging smile from Leo, and a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it look of gratitude from Donnie.

April rubs her temples as Mikey bounds off the couch, returning to the mock-up stage they’ve built for themselves. She knows she’ll have to stop off before getting on the subway for some ibuprofen; a headache is already starting to form in her skull from the out of tune harmonizing the brothers are attempting.

As they start up again- the speakers producing a cacophony of noise that vaguely resembles a song that’s _possibly_ about ninjas and robots- April inaudibly sighs in the overwhelming sound and figures she’ll just get Donnie to make her some hearing aids after this.

The things she does for family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for the low quality of this one, it's been a lotta work lately on a much bigger fic that's finally getting posted, and i'm kinda super tired,,


	7. Bug Busters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, you’re telling me. That there’s not only an underground city, but there’s also a hotel, all run by mutants.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now this really is a missing scene, beyond that we didn't get even a hint of april in this ep.

“So, you’re telling me. That there’s not only an underground city, but there’s also a hotel, all run by mutants.”

“Yokai, actually.”

“Yokai… right. And this hotel is also a casino, which is also a pit fighting arena.”

“Yeah.”

“Which will kidnap mutants to be gladiators.”

“Yep.”

“And you guys gave an entire jar of oozesquitos to the scary mob boss spider-lady who runs it. Who was gonna use the bugs to make more mutant pit fighters.”

“We didn’t do it on purpose, if that’s any better?”

“Of course you didn’t, and not really. That’s still really bad.”

“We’re doing our best. Plus! We got the oozesquitos away from her, so that issue isn’t even an issue anymore.”

“You got them away from her by releasing them back into the city, which has millions of people living in it.”

“…Maybe we’ll get a cold snap and they’ll all die?”

“It’s not even summer yet. I don’t think so.”

“We’re off topic.”

April sighs loudly, switching up her slouched position in her beanbag. She chooses to let her friends sitting around her avoid the reckless choices they made. “Then back on topic- all this has not only confirmed that basically every magical legend or myth throughout history is possibly real, but also that there’s definitely a bigger scheme going on behind all this insanity?”

“Basically,” Donnie says, shrugging.

“Draxum was also saying stuff about stuff,” Leo adds vaguely, “but we were kinda not really listening past the point he said he was gonna toss me off the roof.”

“Which he did actually do,” Raph says, grimacing.

“I got tossed off the skyscraper, too!” Mikey laughs, because having a normal reaction to nearly plummeting to his death is not something his maturity extends to. April watches Raph sort of pet the shells of Leo and Mikey, hints of stress in his face. She smiles wryly. Poor Raph; it’s not easy keeping their three younger brothers safe, and April isn’t always around to help.

“We’re still off topic,” Donnie interrupts mildly. “Though it was important that we come and inform you about this revelation-”

“And explain why you’re all over Twitter. _Again.”_

“-yes, that too, _but_ , even more importantly than that-!” Donnie jabs a finger at the sixth individual in April’s bedroom. “You’ve had a yokai in your home for the past few months and there’s a high potential that they could be a mole.”

April glances towards Mayhem. They freeze mid-lick with their leg in the air still, tongue sticking out and blinking in confusion as to why they’re being interrupted in their grooming.

“Uh… you sure about that, Donnie?” April says dubiously. Mayhem puts their leg down and sits properly, chirping from their perch on her desk.

“At this point,” Leo says seriously, “it’s probably best not to take chances.”

April raises an eyebrow. “Suuure… but _why_ would Mayhem be a mole?”

“So Draxum can spy on us, _duh,”_ Mikey says. He doesn’t seem terribly worried about that fact; he more so sounds like he’s agreeing simply because Donnie and Leo think it’s a problem.

April looks to Raph. Raph shrugs noncommittedly.

“It would kinda make sense,” Raph says, though he doesn’t sound sold on the idea. “I mean, how many movies have used that kind of plot device?”

“You forget we’re not in a movie,” April drawls. She huffs, sitting up in her beanbag and leaning forwards. “Look, guys, I appreciate the concern, but Mayhem is a sweetie pie. They chose to stay with me, even though they could’ve left ages ago. I don’t think they’re a spy.”

“But do you know that for _certain?”_ Donnie challenges, flipping his goggles down and giving a dual colored glare. April isn’t fazed or intimidated.

She quickly comes to the conclusion that this conversation will just keep going unless she stops it. “Okay, then… let’s find out ‘for certain’.” April clicks her tongue and Mayhem’s big ears perk up. “Baby, c’mere please? We gotta prove you’re not a spy.”

Mayhem clicks and chitters, and then disappears in a swirl of fur and light. They reappear in her lap, bumping their head against her sternum and purring like a little engine. April picks them up and kisses their nose, not worried about the jutting canines near her face.

Raph shakes his head at her. “I don’t know how you got your dad to let you keep ‘em.”

“He thinks they’re a really weird cat,” April explains, giggling as Mayhem’s whiskery cheeks tickle her skin. “Or dog, sometimes. Depends on whether or not baby here has played in something dirty.”

Donnie and Leo are still giving Mayhem dubious glares. Mikey has gotten distracted and has moved away from the group, starting to poke through some of the scarves and shirts April has thrown all over the floor. She’d been in a hurry to catch the bus and she’s upended her drawers to find the socks she was looking for (which turned out to be in her laundry hamper, not the dresser). Raph is sitting at an equal distance from his siblings, pensive but resigned.

“Are you sure you should be calling them a baby?” Leo asks, eyeing April’s little bundle of delight. “Like, what if they can talk and feel and shit? We don’t even know how old they are! You could be calling a little old man ‘baby’ right now. Or little old woman. Or whatever- they don’t have any damn genitals.”

“I checked,” Donnie confirms. “They don’t have any external markers of sex. None that we’re familiar with, anyway.”

April rolls her eyes. “Now who’s being an invasive creep, huh?”

“Hey, we never called them a _creep._ We’re not creeps, right, Donnie? _”_

“I see neither of you are denying the invasive bit.”

The twins shrug in unison. Raph, slightly behind them, rubs his face tiredly. April can gauge by the tiredness in Raph’s attitude, and the general lack of interest from Mikey, that Leo and Donnie have probably been on about this topic since their adventures yesterday. (Said adventures are still in the top five tags on Twitter. For ninjas, April’s friends are _horrible_ at being stealthy. At least they’re good at being blurry in every single picture taken of them…)

Mikey is eyeing the new notebooks April just bought for school work, and she knows she needs to wrap this up before he starts doodling on them. “Alright… you know what?” April takes Mayhem away from herself and sets them gently on the carpet. They sit there, looking around expectantly. “Let’s just ask them if they’re a spy or not.”

Mayhem chirps, tail flicking. Donnie leans in closer, intrigued. Leo leans the opposite direction, unnerved. Mikey briefly glances over to see potential drama unfold, and Raph looks like he can’t decide if he’s excited or concerned.

“Well, Mayhem?” April questions the petite yokai. “Are you a spy for Draxum? Or anyone else, for that matter?”

Mayhem tilts their head, squinting. Then, their tail lashes and they shake their head vigorously.

“Now see?” April says, gesturing to her beloved companion. “Not a spy.”

“And obviously sentient enough to not only understand your question and respond to it,” Donnie says, goggles shining as he scans Mayhem, “but sentient enough to understand the _context_ of the question, possibly the morality of saying yes, and has the sense to give the more favorable answer- which is _no,_ they’re perfectly innocent, of course.”

“You just described yourself,” April points out blandly.

“All the more reason to be suspicious of them!”

April ends up drawn into a debate with Donnie and Leo, hotly championing their opposite opinions. Mayhem gets bored of sitting on the carpet and climbs back into April’s lap, asking for scratches. Raph seems to close his eyes and nod off a little, tired out from keeping his brothers in relative line. It’s not until a fair while later that April remembers that Mikey is in the room and that he’d been inching closer to her school supplies.

_“Oh my god_ \- Mikey! I can’t use it in class like this!”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m supposed to turn in my notes after every assignment.  My teacher won’t exactly appreciate it being cluttered with kaiju doodles!”

“Dunno why not, kaiju are dope.”

“ _Augh!”_

Mayhem yawns, ignoring the noise and snuggling a little more comfortably against April’s thighs. Their ears barely twitch as the noisy family around them continue their bickering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mayhem is that incredibly tolerant pet that lets the kids make as much noise as they want around them. just don't pull their tail and they're fine with basically anything.
> 
> (canon please address what the fuck mayhem is. WHO mayhem is. they had the vial that draxum wanted- tell us _why_.)


	8. Sparring Partner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April walks into the lair without much hesitance; whatever they’re about to throw at her, she’s probably had worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> april meets buddy!!!
> 
> hey yall, sorry i only cover a few eps. my inspo sometimes just don't wanna happen, and i've only just caught up on the eps that came out the past two weeks. life's just not cooperative sometimes :///

**To: holla holla get $  
From: christmas hulk**

_Yeah hes total friendly_

_Totally****_

_Promise!!! Now get down here already tunas getting cold_

 

April glances at the last text Raph sent her before she ducked underground, feeling both mild excitement and trepidation. Whatever new friend the brothers have in their home could range wildly- he could be a new pet, a random mutant they dragged home (again), or he could even be the latest robot that Donnie’s built (the collection of sentient machines Donnie has is slightly concerning, actually, given their history of going evil after a few weeks).

Still. April walks into the lair without much hesitance; whatever they’re about to throw at her, she’s probably had worse. The one benefit to working minimum wage in customer service is that basically _nothing_ can shock you after a point.

And then she walks into the kitchen and sees a paper Foot Clan ninja standing over a chopping block, dressed in an apron with a knife raised above its head. She's utterly shocked. And then she snaps into action.

“April- April no _wait!!”_ Mikey tackles her before April can swing the frying pan she’s grabbed off a hook. They end up in a tangle of limbs on the floor, and April hisses a curse as she narrowly avoids beaning her friend on the head with her culinary weapon.

“Mikey- what the hell?!”

“He’s cool, April! I swear he’s not doin’ nothin’ but chopping veggies like I asked!”

“Buddy?” asks a confused voice, and April looks up to see the paper ninja looming over them. She takes in its- _his_ patchy body, taped together in multiple places, some at not-quite-right angles. The paper ninja tilts his head, glowing eyes somehow worried. “Buddy okay??” he asks.

“We’re- oof- we’re good, dude! No worries, everything’s fine,” Mikey says, pointedly pushing April’s frying pan back down to the tiles. She grunts as he uses her sternum to push himself back upright.

“Buddy!” exclaims the paper ninja, patting Mikey’s head, shoulders, and cheeks. He seems very relieved that the small turtle mutant is just fine. April keeps waiting for him to grab Mikey by the neck or something, maybe grab the knife again, but the paper ninja just keeps patting Mikey gently.

April finally manages to take in an important detail to the situation. A bright green shell symbol stands out on his face, blatantly claiming his ties of allegiance. April briefly thinks that this has to be one of the most unlikely things she's ever seen, even with who she considers her family.

“Oh, good,” Leo’s voice says, coming into the room. April cranes her neck to see the other three brothers enter, probably drawn by the noise. “Glad we’ve already got introductions out of the way.”

Donnie quirks an eyebrow at April’s pan; judgmental of either her attempt to whack the origami being, or her unusual and hurried weapons choice. Knowing Donnie, it’s both. She gives a flat stare back, ignoring that she’s on the floor and her glasses are crooked on her face. It’s less intimidating than she’d like.

“Aight,” April says, sitting up with a huff, “y’all got five minutes to explain what the hell is going on here.”

 

-/-

 

April is kind of wondering if this is a dream right now. Maybe she fell asleep in the staff room at _Sentry Technologies,_ aka a computer repair store that constantly smells like burnt wires and expired snack foods. (April is really, _really_ trying to love this job, but the smell is starting to permeate hers and it’s making her want to scrub her skin off. At this point she's aiming to try and keep her sanity together at least until payday.)

“Sal-ad?” asks Buddy, voice stilted, offering her a bowl of chopped vegetables.

“Oh my god!” Mikey yelps from his side of the table. “New word alert! Raph, you heard that right?”

“Heck yeah I did!” Raph leans towards Buddy, getting an arm around the newest addition to the home. April manages to catch the plastic salad bowl as Buddy drops it, busy hugging Raph. “Buddy, you are _killin’ it_ with your vocab skills. I’m so proud, yo.”

“And that makes a grand total of twenty,” Donnie says, tapping on his wrist guard, presumably updating some file of his. “Ah, the wonders of proper socialization upon the young mind.”

April snorts at Donnie’s tone. “Dude, you’re fourteen. Don’t go saying things like you’re some forty year old teacher.”

“I have an old soul,” Donnie replies.

“I only kept ‘im in the closet ‘cause I was worried you were gonna hurt him,” Raph belatedly protests, releasing Buddy finally so they can resume eating their respective meals. Raph has their salad and tune melts on his plate, while Buddy has… origami versions of that.

April can’t help but stare as Buddy stabs a piece of ‘lettuce’ with his fork, lifting it to where his mouth should be. She goes a little wide eyed as the green paper disintegrates into tiny pieces, merging with Buddy’s form. Well, alright then.

“We wouldn’t’ve!” Leo protests.

“You guys spent the whole afternoon tellin’ me how much you wanted to shred paper ninjas!”

“Well, _duh,_ you hadn’t told us we had a friendly one living in our home!”

“Out of context, and not minding the 'paper' factor to things, this whole conversation sounds rather xenophobic.”

“No one asked you, Donnie.”

Buddy has noticed April staring at him. He makes a happy noise, offering a bite of his paper meal to her. April hastily tries to decline in as polite a manner as she can, feeling intensely awkward as she does. Buddy starts to look sad and she starts panicking.

“ _Is_ it xenophobia?” Mikey wonders aloud. “I mean, isn’t that kind of thing based on a take and gain system? We don’t gain anything from discriminating against paper, unless you count saving tree populations. We’re disadvantaged and discriminated in society, too, which kinda negates our ability to be racist towards anyone. You can't be racist towards someone if you gain nothing from it.”

“What,” is Leo, Raph, and Donnie’s reply. They stare at their youngest sibling, vaguely unnerved.

Mikey shrugs. “I did a re-watch of _Dear White People_ last week. It’s still knockin’ around in my head. Might be wrong, might be right. 's whatever.” He pops a cherry tomato into his mouth and chews contently. Then, with a mouthful of red bits, he asks, “April, why’re you eating paper?”

“Because my social skills are shit,” she grumbles. April shudders, chewing determinedly on the faux lettuce in her mouth. Buddy, beside her, looks about as pleased as a person without facial features can. All four brothers laugh at her predicament.

Splinter, sitting mostly silently on his raised stool, sips at his tropically decorated glass, filled with fruit punch and ice cubes. He lets his straw fall out of his mouth, shaking his head admonishingly at her. “Truly, I will never marry a single one of you off.”

April forces herself to swallow the wadded paper shreds, grabbing at her glass of punch. “I ain’t your kid to marry off, Splints,” April says, coughing.

Splinter huffs, nose twitching. “You certainly loiter around here enough to count.”

“He has a point,” Donnie comments.

“No one asked you, Donnie.”

Donnie flicks a carrot stick at her. April retaliates with a slice of bell pepper. Buddy shouts wordlessly in excitement and throws the whole salad bowl across the table- dumping it right on Mikey’s head.

Everyone freezes. Then snickers. Then laughs. Then wheeze as their sides start burning. Even Mikey is laughing, simply pushing the bowl up past his eyes to be a very loose helmet.

Buddy tries questioning Raph about what’s so funny, but Raph is too busy trying to catch his breath to answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's basically how family dinners go in my home, minus the salad bowl throwing haha.

**Author's Note:**

> [i'm on tumblr! let's talk turtles why don't we :)](https://onthespectrumwriting.tumblr.com/)


End file.
